Let's face it: they aren't perfect managers. And they need to know it occasionally. If the long, personal-story-filled team meetings of your manager discourage you from having work done or her frequent screaming matches put at risk your relationships with other departments, often you need to share with your boss some positive input.

But as frightening as it might be, there are some steps you should take to make sure that every discussion about feedback is both diplomatic and constructive.

Consider the benefit-of-cost

Over the years, we have found that people tend to express their thoughts far more comfortably than they did when I first began, which can be a positive thing. Yet, as a result, often people say something that might have been best left unsaid, or at least, more diplomatically, should have been said.

I had one such employee when I first started out as a boss. He was brilliant and a great worker, so I always admired his candour when it came to solving problems on a daily basis. Yet I was shocked when he cornered me in front of the entire team and told me that I was performing a job incorrectly. He had ruined my reputation with the team in a moment.

Although feedback is valuable to you both, take the time to consider whether your information really needs to be delivered, how your boss will be influenced by sharing it, and whether that data will end up helping or damaging you in the long run. Select your wars, as they claim. Provide the suggestions that you think your manager just wants to hear and do it the right way.

Write it down

It's terrifying to tell your boss that she doesn't meet your standards, so don't rely on your developing skills to get you through this sort of debate. Instead, take some time to gather your thoughts and write them down.

I figured that we could just wing it, and didn't bother to jot down some notes the first time I told a manager about a problem I was having with his results. I profoundly regret the oversight some 30 seconds into the conversation. First of all, outside the annual evaluation season, my manager didn't expect to receive input from an employee, so I was quickly caught up in trying to justify myself and why we were there. I was so tongue-tied and anxious by the time I stumbled through an explanation that I ended up just blurting out everything that bothered me about him. Needless to say, it didn't go well with that conversation.

Keep elegant and descriptive

Spending time thinking about how you're going to say it is as vital as planning what you're going to say. The way you start this relationship will set the tone for the whole conversation, which can mean the difference between a good conversation and a, well, bad one. Keep it classy, qualified, and kind. It can be easy to forget that they're human when dealing with your bosses, too, and think their skin is impervious to criticism, but believe me, it's not.

Know, this is not a free pass to unload on your supervisor, but rather an opportunity for you to explain how you manage a particular situation or how you can work together better specifically. That's what you are trying to do, after all.

Be wary of the input requested

I didn't know that the first time a supervisor asked me for feedback, rather than my general input about how she was doing, she was trying to get answers to a few specific questions. She had just had a senior management review, and they thought like her team needed more input on a specific product offering, so she talked to the whole team to get a sense of how happy they thought with the data she had given. As it turned out, she did not want to hear that I found her regular tardiness and long lunches demoralising.

Conclusion

It takes a lot of thinking , planning, and empathy to share feedback with your boss, which is not something you tackle lightly. But, you can also give your boss the input he or she needs to help both of you succeed with careful preparation.